no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
