Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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