this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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