Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
