Where is the hickey?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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