i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
