3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
she told me i tasted like america
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
