[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
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