i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
