I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize