He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
