lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
