So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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