My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
