Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
