R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
