Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
