Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize