And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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