hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
