i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
