Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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