Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
