i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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