It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Fuck appropriateness.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
