Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
