I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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