dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
