Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
