i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
