Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
