Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
