doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
