hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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