i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
