i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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