Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
