weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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