Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
