You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
