If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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