You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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