So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
