Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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