Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize