They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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