As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Randomize
