I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
