I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
