just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Someone stole a lamp last night.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
