Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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