i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
