Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
