so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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