its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
