Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
