I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
