it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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