winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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