yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
